Colossal Mistakes And How You Can't Fix Them

I have always been a dork; noob; awkward in budding friendships. I've never been good at them. I can't say I haven't made unintentional mistakes that turned out good. Can't think of any so far, but I'm sure I've made some of those pathetic teenage movie mistakes in my life. I tend to do well in friendships when thrust in to their world and and of course, sharing things in common is always a good thing to kick off the budding friendship dinghy off to the giant vessel of relationships. Anyways. So, I have this friend I see every week or so. And we have things in common. Similar kind of people. Good acquaintanceship or as the French would say (as my French teacher puts it) copain. Comrade? Less affectionate than an ami. But it's someone you have a good time with. You don't really share anything personal with them. I mean, you could, but it'll take time for that to happen. So that is what this girl is to me. But I really like her (She's really cool and I'm not a lesbian just letting you know I like men; too much sometimes but that's besides the point) anyway so yes. I think she's really cool and all. So day after day, we get closer (still copains) and then she offers me her number on twitter. Really random, but sweet, I like people liking me, I should be appreciated I'm only so wonderful. So, I text her and nana bananas we talk about class and she tweets about how wonderful I am. And I in a state of awe and shock and slight cockiness. Reply pathetically (overly enthusiastic) nothing like the acquaintance me. Like the me with my meillures amies. I should've gone with 'Glad you think soooo :P' or something other than that horrid thing. I've been overcompensating with my tweeting but tweeting a lot, to get rid of it in my tweet history, (you know the first three tweets they show with your profile and all) and so, I still feel odd and stupid over that. I hope I get better at these things because BADA BING BADA VON DOOM I started school earlier last week and quite expectedly I made TWO sets of friends, the girl I first talked to who was slightly odd and the two girls who approached me. I liked them. But girl 1 didn't. So I faced the common dilemma of which friend to sit with during lunch and lectures. So.... Yeah. I'm managing, but it's still awkward. Now not so much. However, now I've made a new friend, and she's invited me to her 19th birthday party. Fact : I don't like parties, public gatherings or you know places with people. But she's my friend and she's a nice girl. I want to go mainly because I had a vision (fantasy would be more appropriate but let's not say that) that I would be a better person if I attended a few parties just to get a taste of it. Right now, it seems like a taste of wine. Something forbidden, but so tempting. Yet, I do not exactly crave for wine nor alcohol because I have never sipped (okay I had ONE sip of beer and a glass of lightly fermented apple juice but that was it) Well anyways after I had it and I knew it was forbidden, I sort of gave up and kind of parted with the idea of ever doing it again. It tasted horrible and it burnt my throat. So, no more alcohol for me. Don't really care for it anyway. Same for parties, it's kind of forbidden because of the free mixing of the sexes, then again, we're not getting in to an orgy and we all know our boundaries but of course some choose to sprint pass the very thinly drawn line and start you know..overstepping boundaries. However I don't think I need to worry about half actually drunk and half faking it drunk people making passes at me, because; you know they'd be trying to score with their crush, (not me) and thanks to their fake drunkenness they are able to tell who is who. Another thing is peer pressure and of course I don't live in an all Muslim neighbourhood, so there will be people with tattoos and dresses and skirts and they'll be doing stuff I can't do and wearing stuff I can't wear. I mean that might ignite me to do something bad or think of my 'repressing' religion. Which I don't want to happen. I love my religion, because (I think) I know it well enough to understand its only trying to protect us (girls mainly) from anything bad and it's rule on forbidding alcohol is that it may lead to overconsumption and it will lead you to do (bad) things you will regret in the morning. It's not just blindly telling us not to do things. Of course free thinkers and other people might say, 'No, I'll watch how much you drink' or 'Just one glass' I mean I know they mean well and only want to help you lol but I don't want thy to happen. And of course I don't know how to say this to her, I've only known her for a few days. So I mention my Saturday classes and how knackered I'll be but I tell her I want to go. Because I sort of do. So as usual I'm at crossroads and you know can't seem to decide between Niall Horan or Harry Styles or Logan Lerman or Skandar Keynes. Frankly I don't want to deal with either of them. Au revoir all xx love you (Katrina Safra you little ngok)