Who loves you pretty baby? Hooh. Couldn't get that out of my head. I'm learning a lot from Taylor Swift songs, I think I'll forever be in love with British singer songwriters, Miles Kane and Ed Sheeran. They just make me happier, in a nutshell really. If anyone's reading this, please go have a listen at some of their songs. They're really wonderful, if you don't like them-- well sorry then. I don't think I'm very musically talented. Inclined; yes. However not very much the talented musician. Sure, I did take beginner piano lessons, but I haven't played a piano in six months. It was grueling, at my age (fifteen and sixteen at the time) to start at GRADE 1. I have short, fat fingers and my ring finger was somehow protesting against me using it to tickle the ivory. <-- I don't know why I said 'tickle the ivory' oh wait. I read it in an Ezra Miller interview. Brilliant. He may look homeless and somewhat Robinson Crusoe-ish who was dragged through a thrift store. Who also has some pot sticking out of his pretty lovely lips. It's really all Hanna's fault. She showed me a video of him looking fine as hell and I was hooked. Katrina, Claudia found him UGLY I think. Oh well. Slowly, I grew infatuated and yes, I had a celebrity crush. And his birthday is the day after mine! Cool isn't it? Yeah, totally. The closest I've gotten anyway. Little did I know, he was actually not very well groomed offset and he often wore things he had bought at a goodwill store. Sure, look at the glass half full and say he's truly thoughtful, and moves to the beat of his own drum or bongo or whatever. I still think, despite all of that, he's actually a cool person. A little offbeat; yeah. Experimental; more than most actors. He's original and authentic and supery cool and I think that's awesome. Oh then, he announced he was queer. When I heard it, I wasn't really surprised, he certainly looked gay. I was sad (no, I don't hate nor discriminate, I just was disappointed that my far fetched idea of me and him were a no-go). Yes, I'm THAT kind or person. Harmless blogger/writer who writes her thoughts for no one in particular to read, but is always thankful to those who do. Unless you're the people mentioned in this blog. That would be just plain awkward but nonetheless, highly unlikely :) so back to my music/ self discovery I have discovered, I'm very much almost a most genre kind of person. Really, whatever that sounds good to the ears. Ironically, I'm not supposed to be using my earphones too much because I have 'abnormally small' ear canals and a bunch of nasty stuff about my ear, but long gross story short, I'll get infections and they're particularly nasty and quite painful. Right, after that somewhat irrelevant piece of information; I'd really like to say how I wish I was more musically inclined and talented so I could actually obtain some high points on worthy self achievement. Sure, everybody dreams of being rockstars. Most of them are pipe dreams, phases, sarcastic dreams, some are genuine. The one seemingly small, but in absolute realness, a very big and important question is 'which one is mine?' That I have on being in the film business. Not necessarily an actor, but someone directly involved in the process. It's always been a fascination of mine. Working on a tv show maybe. Meeting new people, gaining new friends. People who have the same thing on their mind and people who are working towards the same thing. A whole set of similar souls. Lovely thought indeed. But of course there are restrictions and boundaries that I must respect and not question out loud. Though those very questions are the ones who keep me awake at night and swim in my head when something relevant is seen, heard or even thought of. Sometimes, I get carried away with those thoughts, and for a moment, I feel quite invincible and honestly, happy and hopeful. These boundaries restrict me and automatically instantly and almost cruelly restrict me of my happiness and passion. Even though they are only thoughts, I have always thought I wanted to put action to them when the time is right. So many boundaries that restrict, and so much potential happiness exterminated before realized. And music, has helped me realize those dreams, whatever kind they be, for the duration of the song and as soon as it is over, I shall move and change my state of mind. Films, as therapeutic people claim they are, they only ignite dreams that cannot be realized. One day, possibly I might change my mind on this. Or should the thought be omitted permanently as it causes so much emotions to rise and boil uncontrollably till it spills, ruining my surroundings. Oh well, la vie sucks sometimes. A little tune and subtle message of a songstress/songster could lift my spirits any day when the situation calls for it :) goodnight all and may Liverpool trounce Chelsea to bit! Nice night/ morning/ noon wherever you are, reader. :) xx
P.s. you are much appreciated :)
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