A Period of Piety and Patience

Good lorddddd. I have been too emotionally uneventful and fat-arsed lazy to be creative and use my thumbsss to type. However now, I feel its time where things are piling up again and I want to retch. Right, if you're a Muslim, you're probably quite tired, though you feel slightly purer than before or just more religious. It's *drumroll* Ramadhan!! Around twenty days too late about the announcement but the novelty of the situation blurred the hunger and fatigue. Now, its gotten to be a routine and I'm pretty knackered. And it is only... 8.50 in the morning. However in this month we may be more tired, but we are more thankful and aware of what we have. 

I just thought of fluffy pancakes and syrup. 

MOVING ON. 

I realise I have not been so studious and the little type A bookworm in me is screaming in pain as she sees what I do with my spare time (watching the food network) while people are doing worthwhile things with their lives I am plotting dinner menus for the family. 

In the last ten days of Ramadhan I have been feeling more fatigued than usual (Ramadhan usual) I'm finding it more and more difficult to actually focus and do what I'm supposed to do; like pray 5 times a day, study, basically I'm finding it difficult to go about my (ideal) preferred routine. It's less difficult in non-Ramadhan time, obviously. 

In case you didn't know, in Ramadhan it is believed and relied upon that satan is locked away and that there shall be no encouragement of bad deeds. Also the angels and the souls of the deceased are allowed to roam around. So even with satan locked away I'm still comitting sins like oversleeping till I miss subuh (early morning prayer that must be done before sunrise) and not feeling a higher degree of remorse for it. 

It has been worrying me, I've been thinking that I'm some lost cause and the devil resides within me and I will perish in hell for all eternity. This is when I get a little terrified and go conduct my prayers. I have missed subuh this morning and I am allowed to qada' (replace) in the next session of prayers so to speak; which is Zohor (afternoon prayers). It isn't time yet so I am free. 

So Eid is almost here and I'm fat. Shocker, shocker. But I am very excited for Eid but a little sad that only three people remembered I was a Muslim and was about celebrate my religious holiday and wished me. I'm not entitled to respect, it's just called courtesy and manners. So yeah. Everyone's kind of being an asshat. Im going to stop typing and ranting; Happy Hari Raya!!