Nothing of Importance

I have very little to say, which is rather uncommon of me. I always have some skewered perspective to share with people who seem not to care or people who don't actually have the patience to follow my train of thought. Todays topic is TRAVELLING! I have always loved the idea of being abroad and seeing new sights and generally, just being away from my usual scene. It's honestly good fun when you're with friends or family and you're all away on vacation and you get to see new things. I haven't done that in a while and it makes me rather sad. Mostly because it's rather pricy to transport a large family across a country and everyone seems to have something going on that delays the trip. But we are going away soon and even though it's not very far it's still a vacation to some place we've never been. I sincerely hope that I get to feel happy again. Travelling as a form of escapism... In literal truth it kind of is but what I feel, I think is more spiritual *burns incense and meditates ironically* I guess the feeling that I get to be somewhere new is nice and I get to explore and be a tourist and have people offer me nice things. I mostly want to leave my country and live elsewhere but there is always that tiny voice in my head that tells me I will in fact miss my country one day. It never said I would regret it though. So I remain optimistic about it. Another thing is that I sort of resent my past and I tend to look back on my awkwardest moments and marinate in my own embarassment. My past times. Great. I'll probably end up insecure and confused all my life. And in my head, migrating and creating a new life is a way for me to escape my past [I wasn't troubled or anything I just have a lot of awkward moments with a lot of people in a small-ish country where everyone is so well-connected for some reason] Compared to other peoples problems, mine don't seem so bad. I'll live with them and ignore all of them forever. Yay! Another form of escapism!

The Jam-Packed Day

So, I am at an airport now, and truth be told, I have missed hanging around airports pretending I'm some lost tourist. The things I don't miss are the... screaming babies, suspicious looking actual tourists ermm...yes that seems to be about it. Though in general, I love airports because it makes me feel independent and -- I CAN'T STOP LOOKING AT THIS FAMILY SITTING NEXT TO ME IN A RESTAURANT (Granted, it's KFC but I like to think I'm some sort of classy lady) It's an adorable one, an interracial marriage actually. I happen to love those (Do I want one? Yes most likely) He, is a Middle-Eastern man who is married to an Oriental woman (Chinese, Taiwanese, Hongkie) and they have such adorable little POLITE and QUIET children. After they left and I, had a small burger for a big amount of cash, left for the gates.

Now, I arrive at the gates an hour before my plane arrives and I start reading my book, quite happily. Though, about 20 minutes before the departure they still have not called us to board. So no one thought it would be important to tell the passengers that there was going to be a delay. Fantabulous. 

And this lady next to me, kept a good book in her husbands backpack and only to whip out the fifty shades darker novel and I mentally flipped. I mean like IN AN AIRPORT???! Lady, keep it in your rucksack. So, long story short, I eventually got on the wretched plane. While cringing mentally. 

You know of the no electronics being on during take off and landing rule right, so I switched my phone off because I am a good citizen. But my laptop wasn't specifically 'off' it was on 'sleep'. It was in my backpack in the overhead compartment and throughout the first half hour of the flight I basically imagined the plane not being able to take off, my laptop exploding or the plane basically free-falling through the sky because my laptop was not 'turned off'. Yeah. But I survived because I lived to tell the tale of a never-ending paranoia that is my blessed life. 

Then, I went to get a taxi to go to my school. I noticed a 'city taxi' counter and I immediately noticed that it was cheaper than the airport taxi. And I am happy that I am being more economical. Go me! 

So the cabbie is an alright man though his pronounciation is a little dodgy. That should've been the first sign. The place I was headed to was called 'Mantin' though my cabbie heard 'Banting' which sounds annoyingly similar. And WONDERFULLY FOR ME, they are at the opposite ends of the state... So I discover the error just 10 kilometers before Banting and we end up turning back and asking a taxi driver resting on the side of the road. He knew the way, lucky us! Haha. Hah. Ha.

Though my cabbie kept reminding me of the mistake... Which got pretty annoying. And he kept turning his window down and asking people in their cars where the college was located. Hey, at least I got to be where I needed to be. An hour later. Thanks to Malaysia also for bad signage. 

So when I got to my college it was really nice and it felt as though I never left. Which felt weird because I hadn't been there for almost a year. But nonetheless, I felt at home and it was me returning to somewhere I loved and missed so much. Though save one awkward moment when I had to hang out with a bunch of people I wasn't too close to. Though I did meet a buddy's boyfriend. So that was nice :) 

In other words I was having a good time and I did not want to leave anytime soon. Time came faster than the warming of my heart and the dissipation of my troubles while I was basking in the depths of simple comfort and happiness my friends offered me. I had missed them so much. It is impossible to isolate and neglect how happy I was when I was there. So, if I were to ever conjure a Patronus Charm I'd probably use some memories from my visit or my stay in the school. 

However, despite meeting most of my friends, I failed to meet my French teacher and the teacher that helmed the trip to the USA. That, I regret quite heavily. 

It's been a long day, and I managed to get a 10% discount of Lindt Lindor chocolate which was yummy and still yummy after 6 pieces of chocolates. And me and my sisters had an actual conversation with le père. Unusual and pleasant surprise! Then I got home to eat and finish this story. With some (a lot) of food. Cuz that's just the way I do it. 

Peace out suckers.

No, that's not really me. Okay yeah Goodnight everyone. [I suspect I am talking to no one, but I am able to imagine I have many people reading my blog] Goodnight....

Unearthing My Buried Troubles

I have never spoken of my boarding school experience. Never. Not once here.  It has always been something that I hold dear and I fear that I hold a small but condensed portion of my past too dearly and closely. I feel I need to loosen my ironclad grip and not isolate them as my sole happy memory. Now, it is all I think about, and I have now been gone for a year. It is slightly dangerous that I think of the past so much, weaving dead dreams and lost hopes into it that it turns into a fully imagined and fantasised memory. I want to be able to create new memories worthy of my looking back on them but I am rather unhappy in my current school; for many valid reasons. I seem to put certain memories and people on pedestals and I wish to do that no more. It is detrimental to my own happiness putting it in something that no longer exists. I've watched enough movies and read enough books to know that what I am going to do is difficult but it is the right thing. 

Sorry to sound like such a complete emotional wreck but honestly no one has the time to listen or they have better things to do like fluff pillows and re-fold towels. Or grating their forehead. Oookay. Bye...

This is not a poem

Yes I realise I've been rather poetic. I sort of take pride in that. Though, there is one thing that I cannot be proud of. 

I can't type fast.

It's more horrid than you might think and I'm right handed so I basically use my left hand at a limited amount. Yes, I feel bad for my left hand. Yes; I feel bad that I am not ambidextrous. 

Moving on, I have just one examination left and I am not going to talk a lot about on the matter. Save for the fact that I feel like I have literally gone blank on the topic and my exam is tomorrow. 

Brilliant. 

In other news, I am addicted to Sherlock [the tv series, and the films]. I have yet to start on the books, though I've already bought the entire collection. Good times lie before me. 

The other thing which occurs every night is my evergrowing paranoia of someone behind my house. [Just a little nugget of information, I'm live-blogging about this]. I hear sounds that might not even be suspicious in the daylight; but the fact that they are at night makes me think of the most horrible things. Ok done with that. Partially. I will just suppress my paranoia like a normal person. And will probably live with a mental illness later in life. Though I refuse to look on the bad side. [anymore]. 

Random Thoughts That Popped Into My Head While Writing 

- Benedict Cumberbacth is an excellent specimen of ASS like DAAAYYUUMM.

- God dammit he should play Lord Goring [from the play An Ideal Husband] if there is to be a film one day!

And that concludes my nuance for tonight thank you for being here you were a terrific audience! Silent! Just the way people behave when I tell an 'interesting' story! 

Goodnight...! 

Our Parting

It's so refreshing to be alone

I no longer look forward to your criticism.

I no longer look forward to your approval.

I believe I am quite content in solitude. 

All because I outgrew you

And your age-old tactics

They are so sweet; but I couldn't take 

Too much of a good thing. 

You must keep them 

For those who wish to flourish in your company. 

Like the falling leaves in autumn,

I didn't fall because I chose to,

I fell because it was time to

We needed to grow on our own.

And I believe; our parting was a gift,

To being happy on our own.